I was at a Christmas party this weekend when someone casually asked me, where I live. Normally this is pretty basic Q&A party convo. But I stood there, deer in the headlights, struggling with the answer until I awkwardly blurted out, "Well...I'm kind of homeless". Yep, that's me, 35 years old, masters degree, loads of student debt and well...homeless.
Turns out, following your heart requires a lot of sacrifice and a whole lot of uncertainty. I've been quiet on the blog scene for a few months. When things are tough, it's easier to hide than to live your vulnerabilities in print. This being said, it's when we are most vulnerable that we connect the most with those around us.
My decision to leave Honduras was not easy by any means. It came abruptly yet it was necessary. I was serving our precious little Honduran patients, mothers fanning babies suffering for hours in squelching heat to see me. I loved every minute of those visits, loved those adorable little hands and those runny little noses, but I hated that I had so little to offer in return. Our clinic didn't have basic vitamins or paper towels to dry your hands after washing. I would lance abscesses without as much as antibiotic ointment to put on the wound. It was appalling, really.
I was constantly petitioning the non-profit I represented for funds to supply these necessities, and yet the answer was often "we need to focus more on sustainable projects", translation, no! The ugly truth is despite our lack of funds, I was asked by our academic partner for signatures on research projects. Projects born in SF to be carried out in a hospital that didn't even have running water. Ideas from academics who wanted grants or research without any question as to if it was even needed or wanted by those it most affected. Morally, I just couldn't be a part of it.
I believe global health should be a bottom up approach. Research, projects, ideas and initiatives should originate from those who are most affected. The incentive should be born by the people you hope to serve. Then, you take those needs, those desires for change, and make them a reality by plugging in your resources in a SYMBIOTIC exchange. The idea that WE have all the answers, and WE know what needs to happen is not only offensive, it's just inaccurate.
In light of this revelation and let's be honest with an empty bank account, I moved back to California.
Finding myself yet again with a blank slate and a questionable future, I tried to remain calm in the face of uncertainty. I was crashing in my brother's old bedroom (my poor parents have yet to experience an empty nest), and working temp jobs while trying to figure out WHAT in the world I would do next.
Around this time my mom asked, "Why don't you just work for Operation Smile? That's always where you are the happiest?". I didn't know of any paid jobs with Op Smile. I'd been volunteering with them since 2008 but it was always just that, voluntary. Well, fate has a funny way of showing up when you least expect it to. It's kind of like the guy you're crushing on who waits until 8 pm on a Friday to ask you on a Saturday date. Just when you've sworn him off, BOOM he calls. And so it goes, the morning after a pity party, I woke with swollen eyes and a bit of a wine headache to find an email from Op Smile waiting ever so patiently in my inbox. WANTED: Full-time nurse educator for position in Guwahati India.
Ummm...YESSSS! I told them they had to hire me because my mom thinks I'm perfect for the job (obviously the best way to approach a cover letter)! Turns out I had some stiff competition, my best friend also applied! She's basically an Op Smile rock star so I knew it'd be tough call. I can honestly say I believe in her so much that I felt that if either one of us got the job, it really was the right decision. She is hands down fantastic.
I waited in agony until October. Here I am, about to board a flight to Dominican Republic for yet another Op Smile mission when I see an email stating that they want to interview me! Whoohoo! Well, guess what? I arrive to our first team dinner...mind you we are in Dominican Republic and guess who is sitting across the table? Alex and Carolina, basically the mom and pop of all things Op Smile India. Alex and Carolina started the Guwahati project from the ground up. They are responsible for taking it from an empty room to the leading cleft center in the world. And here they are...at my dinner table...IN DOMINICAN REPUBLIC.
And it get's better...just for background...I met them 7 years ago in Alexandria Egypt when they first met and consequently fell in love! Carolina was my roommate when they were surgical residents. I even had a photo of Alex on the phone with her at the pyramids on a camel! It suffices to say I felt like Santiago in Paulo Cohelo's Alchemist. Yes to India, yes to my destiny...YES to UNCERTAINTY...YES TO CHANGE.
And so it happened...I'm moving to Guwahati India the beginning of January. My job will entail being a nurse educator for the local Indian Op Smile nurses. We are developing curriculum and training nurses to become advocates and leaders in the field. This job couldn't be more perfect for me. It's a mix of all things pura allegra; travel, adventure, clinical care, teaching, mentoring and encouraging nurses to reach their fullest potentials.
So that's how it happens, 35, years old, single, "high class homeless" and ready to embrace another year of highs and lows doing what I love.
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| My new temp job USA style! |
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| Carolina, Me and Alex in their private practice in Cartagena, Colombia |
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| Last few days in Roatan, Honduras |
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| Dominican Republic Mission...where I re-met Alex and Carolina after 7 years |
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| Alex getting that fateful call from Carolina...the moment destiny intervened |
